Don Trump faces 91 felony counts. He can get off all of them with Publius’ Dumb Don Defense: Don’s proven, staggering mental deficiencies. Publius has shown conclusively and repeatedly for seven and a half years that here is no way that Don has any idea of what he is doing, saying or thinking, let alone whether his acts are right or wrong.
Publius began to demonstrate Dumb Don’s intellectual incontinence in February, 2016 in Don Trump Learns to Travel. In the years since, he has documented many of Don’s mental failings. These are all public and can be used by his lawyers any time. For free.
Here’s the evidence Don’s lawyers can use to defend him by showing his total inability to process even simple thoughts, let alone structure felonious acts.
Learning to Count With Don Trump February 25, 2016
Don Trump Learns Foreign Policy May 24, 2016
Don Trump and The Mexican Drug Lords July 13, 2016
Dumb Don September 18, 2016
Illiterate Don and You September 18, 2016
Dumb Don’s Terror Trap January 22, 2017
Don Dumbs Down The Presidency February 20, 2017
Trumplish and Quantum Weirdness March 20, 2017
Trump Management Protocol (TruMP) May 17, 2017
Dumb Don, Scientist-in-Chief June 5, 2017
President Zero July 30, 2017
Trump Failures September 27, 2017
Trump Flunks His TruMP May 2, 2018
Benedict Trump June 18, 2018
Pay More! Live Worse! September 13, 2018
The Boiled Frog May 23, 2019
Dumb Don Drowns in Drivel January 4, 2020
This is the Dumb Don Defense at its simplest: Either Don was thinking and it didn’t matter to him what he thought, or he wasn’t thinking and it didn’t matter to him that he wasn’t. And, because he speaks only syntax-free Trumplish, gibberish in effect, he can't tell you which is which. Don can never give testimony in court. Let alone be cross examined.
Trumplish uses English words, for the most part, but it follows no rules of grammar, has none of its own, and so cannot be translated into English. Or into any other language. Because only one person speaks Trumplish, Dumb Don, it is impossible for anyone else to understand what he is saying. Indeed, because Trumplish has no syntax, it is unclear that even Don Trump understands what he means by what he says. He has no way of telling you.
This problem is so serious for anyone associated with Dumb Don that, in May, 2017, Publius created the Trump Management Protocol (TruMP) for managing the dumb dude.
TruMP tells Dumb Don’s lawyers:
Do NOT depend on Don to be rational. He does not have the level of intellect that we use to form ideas or coherent plans.
From 1.), expect Don to see everything through a base level of emotion, rather than reason (he can’t do this), that is impossible for anyone else to understand.
Expect from 1.) and 2.) that Don’s fractured intellect will respond to all stimuli in broken, incoherent bursts of emotion that are impossible for others to anticipate, understand or manage.
Expect from 1.) through 3.) that everything Don says and does will contradict everything else he says and does, usually within the same day and often in the same sentence.
From 1.) through 4.), understand that Don does not lie. Why? He cannot tell the difference between fact and fiction, truth and falsehood. Both hold at the same time, a form of quantum weirdness, and he uses them interchangeably for no obvious reason because he has no ability to reason or to tell you what his reasoning is.
Do not expect to understand Don’s Trumplish. It is not translatable. And, because of 1.) through 5.), Don does not know how to express his fractured ideas any other way.
Expect Don to announce only fiscally incoherent policies. He cannot count (See Learning to Count With Don Trump) and has no way of knowing that his policies will not work under any circumstances.
Don’s lawyers will conclude from Publius evidence that Don’s amazingly scrambled grammar suggests that he stopped learning entirely at the age of ten, or younger. His intellect therefore could not sustain any knowledge more complex than a ten-year-old can absorb in any subject at any time during the rest of his life.
Not guilty!
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