Acquiring the 51st State

Dossier Don’s attempt to force Canada to become the 51st state by imposing massive import taxes on their products explains why Don is best known for his endless business failures.

It shows his stunning ignorance of business and economics basics, his intellectual incontinence and his inability to structure deals. 

Anyone who knows even a small amount about the two countries knows that Dossier Don holds no cards.  Alienating Canada with import taxes makes his position worse.

Just to begin an M&A discussion with Canada, Don must issue Executive Orders that:

• Bring U.S. infrastructure up to Canadian standards.

• Bring the U.S. education system up to Canadian standards.

• Bring the U.S. healthcare system up to Canadian standards.

• Ensure that the U.S. meets Canadian gun control and licencing requirements.

• Make French a national language, ensuring that it is spoken in Congress, the courts and by the President and that all American laws, government documents and even road signs and product packaging are in French.

• Clean up America so that it is as trash- and slum-free as Canada.

Then there are the fun things he must do.  Like ensure that Americans use our neighbour’s spelling rules and that Americans adhere to the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation’s pronunciation guide.  Schedule must be pronounced “shedule”, not “skedule”.  And no more public “bathrooms.”  It’s “washrooms” from now on.

Don must declare Lacrosse America’s national sport.  It has been Canada’s since 1859. America doesn’t have one.  Time to act.

Once all this is done, Don can talk.

But Don’s biggest M&A problem with Canada is his inability to count. 

Here’s how John Celentano put it in a recent LinkedIn posting.

In 2024, Canada exported $451 billion goods and services to the U.S. while the U.S. exported $349 billion to Canada, according to trade statistics from both countries.

Seems like Canada has a trade advantage, right?

At the end of 2024, Canada's population was 41.53 million compared to 341.15 million in the U.S. 

That means, on a per capita basis, that Canadians spent $8,412 for U.S. goods in 2024 while Americans spent just $1,322 for Canadian goods.

Canadians buy 6.4X per capita from the U.S. than Americans buy from Canada.  Where’s Don’s leverage in this?

Dossier Don’s import taxes on Canadian goods will massively increase that gap, further alienating Canadians.  And depriving him of any hope of doing a deal.  Which is a classic Don deal failure.  A smarter guy would try to equalize these numbers so that there is something to discuss.

Instead, the fool has attacked the U.S.’ closest ally and done everything possible to alienate its people, making a deal impossible.

In a few days, Canada will hold a federal election.  This will be a referendum on Dossier Don.  He is expected to go down, bigly.

Another Trump failure.