Trumplish is a syntax-free language. It uses English words but it follows none of our rules of grammar, has none of its own, and so cannot be translated into English. Or into any other language. Because only one person speaks Trumplish, Dumb Don Trump, it is impossible for anyone else to understand what he is saying. Indeed, because Trumplish has no syntax, it is unclear that even Don Trump understands what he means by what he says.
As a unilingual Trumpophone, Dumb Don’s inability to read, write or speak English while trying to be President of the United States is getting him into deeper trouble by the minute.
How much trouble can Don get into speaking only Trumplish? On March 4, at 6:35am, Don loudly announced that he is a Kremlingate suspect and that the FBI tapped his phones. Why would he even touch this?
In English, it looks like sheer madness. Either, Don Trump has admitted that he is a Kremlingate suspect and that the FBI told him that it had demonstrated to a federal judge that it had probable cause to tap his phone. Or, he has gone barking mad.
It doesn't much matter which is the case because, read either way in English, he must surrender the Presidency.
In Trumplish, however, neither could be the case, either could be the case, or both could be the case. Syntactical quantum weirdness, if you like.
In the event, FBI Director James Comey confirmed to Congress today both that the FBI is looking into Russia’s relationship with the Trump campaign and that it did not bug the Trump Tower as Trump claimed. He did not rebut Trump’s repeated assertions that Trump is a Kremlingate suspect.
But, again at 6:35am and before Comey’s testimony, Trump asserted on Twitter that “James Clapper and others stated that there is no evidence Potus colluded with Russia. This story is FAKE NEWS and everyone knows it!” (Clapper is the former Director of National Intelligence.) Trump is telling us that his own assertions that he is a Kremlingate suspect are fake news.
In Trumplish, Dumb Don is, according to Dumb Don, both a suspect and not a suspect at the same time. Syntactical quantum weirdness.
What is especially interesting to Publius is that Don doesn’t seem to know which quantum state is which or why it is what it is.
Indeed, if you go back to his earliest campaign speeches, print out everything since, you will find Don’s syntactical quantum weirdness everywhere. Especially in syntax-free tweets.
In Don Trump Learns to Travel on February 12, 2016, Publius showed that because of the syntactical quantum weirdness of Trumplish, Don is unable think through the impact of what he says, even on his own business.
In Learning to Count With Don Trump on February 25, 2016, Publius showed that Don’s mass deportation of the undocumented will, at a minimum, triple the Federal budget. Either Don ran the numbers and didn’t care or didn’t run the numbers and didn’t care. Whichever it is, in the syntactical quantum weirdness of Trumplish, Don didn’t care. And didn’t know that he didn’t care.
In Don Trump Learns Foreign Policy on May 24, 2016, Publius showed again that Dumb Don is unable to put simple thoughts together. Because of the syntactical quantum weirdness of his Trumplish, Don contradicts himself sentence to sentence while being convinced that he makes complete sense.
In Don Trump and The Mexican Drug Lords on July 13, 2016, Publius showed that Don was unable to learn in English how a wire transfer works. Let alone that if his Trumplish-explained concept could work, it would drive into the country a massive influx of drugs and of the undocumented looking for work.
In Dumb Don on September 18, 2016, Publius described his favorite example of Trumplish: Don's August 15th campaign speech on security. This hung in its entirety on a single sentence with twelve errors. And showed that Don reads and writes English at the level of a poorly performing ten-year old.
In Illiterate Don and You on September 19, 2016, Publius showed that Don’s Trumplish reveals a much deeper problem: his inability to think. In other words, Don suffers from monster developmental deficiencies. Don doesn’t lie. He is incapable of knowing the difference between fact and fiction. To him the two run together as we saw in today’s tweets.
If you test Don’s English by Eighth Grade standards as Publius did, you will imagine very quickly the difficult conversation Don’s elementary school teachers must have had with his parents some six decades ago.
Then, ask yourself the next question. Don’s high school—the New York Military Academy—graduated him as did his university, the prestigious Penn. But, as a unilingual Trumpophone who is manifestly innumerate, this was impossible. There is simply no way he could have sat a test or exam alone.
What happened? These events are half a century and more in the past and there may be little information today. One way or another, however, the institutions that graduated him must explain the gap between Don's Trumplish and their graduation certificates.
Updates
October 9, 2017
Today, Senator Bob Corker told the New York Times that no one understands why Dumb Don tweets known falsehoods. That's easy. Publius showed here, eight months ago, that Don's massive intellectual insufficiencies mean that he doesn't know the difference between true and false, right and wrong or even up and down. In the Dumb Dude's mind they can all hold at the same time. And he has his own syntax-free, and therefore untranslatable, language, Trumplish, to express these multiple quantum states.
Corker doesn't speak Trumplish. Only Dumb Don speaks this language. But Corker knows enough English to recognize a foreign, syntax-free, untranslatable language when he hears and sees one.
Every member of Congress must demand that we have a President who speaks English. Don's inability to speak our language is enough to force his resignation. Time for the House and Senate to act. We need an anglophone President.
October 11, 2017
Dumb Don, who is so intellectually insufficient that he can't pass Publius' TruMP exam, has challenged his Secretary of State, Rex Tillerson to an IQ Test, saying that he is sure he knows who will win. Talk about putting your foot in it! Yes, Don, we all know who will win.
February 28, 2018
Hope Hicks, White House Communications Director, today became the latest to flunk her TruMP exam. Her resignation came a day after she tried to translate Dumb Don's Trumplish to the House Intelligence Committee in eight hours of testimony and had to admit in her testimony that doing this takes "white lies."
This drove Dumb Don nuts. As Publius showed in Trump Management Protocol (TruMP) ten months before Hicks met her end, nothing sends Dumb Don ballistic faster than someone trying to translate his syntax-free and therefore untranslatable, Trumplish into English. The closer you are to him, the faster he wants to fire you. Hope was just too close.
March 13, 2018
Rather than try to match Tillerson's intelligence, Dumb Don fired him. Tillerson struggled for 14 months to master Publius' Trump Management Protocol (TruMP). He took on the impossible task of translating Don's syntax-free, and therefore untranslatable, Trumplish into English so that other countries could understand the Dumb Dude. As Publius has demonstrated many times for over two years, this cannot be done. Tillerson's replacement, former CIA Director Mike Pompeo, must now step up for his TruMP exam. Good luck Mike!!
May 22, 2018
The Dumb Dude's attempt to work out a trade deal with China ended up being as incoherent as his 12-mistake Trumplish sentence in Dumb Don. His staggering intellectual insufficiencies sabotaged his trade negotiations with China in a way that China can see see how to play Don's mental limitations to its benefit.
Critically, the members of Don's negotiating team fell out with each other publicly in China as if they were all separate parts of Don's illiterate sentence.
This is the cost of Don's Trumplish. No one on Don's team speaks Trumplish -- only Don does this -- so that everyone on his team has a different understanding of what Don says and follows it. And Don cannot tell any of them what he means, because he doesn't know what he means.
For China ("The Center of Everything "in Chinese ), this is money in the bank.
For us?
We just pay.
August 6, 2018
Dossier Don has managed to confirm everything Publius wrote here well over a year ago by reiterating his March 4, 2016 6:35 am Tweet that he is indeed a Kremlingate suspect. This time he has gone a step farther, confirming that his son's June 2016 meeting with Putin's emissaries in New York's Trump Tower was, as we have all known for some time, to get FSB dirt on Hilary Clinton.
December 6, 2018
This is priceless. A retired teacher tries to edit Dumb Don's Trumplish!!
December 7, 2018
It took Fox News' Tucker Carlson two and a half years after he read Dumb Don's August 15, 2016 misfire on US security to admit want he has long known. He told Dei Weltwoche that Don is incapable of learning, let alone acting. Well done Tucker! You've deliberately mislead Fox audiences for years. Now tell them what they are supposed to do about this.
August 28, 2019
Dumb Don's Trumplish has destroyed America's position in the world as shown in the latest G7 conference in Biarritz, France. No one has the slightest idea of what he is saying, and it shows. And Don doesn't have the mental capacity to figure out what he is saying either. The parties have no choice but to submit their 2020 candidates to formally proctored literacy tests. This is insane,
September 2, 2020
It is amazing that even after four years after Publius first showed Dumb Don's intellectual incontinence and reliance on Trumplish, which, because it is syntax free cannot be translated into English, journalists like the Washington Post's Josh Dawsey are still marveling at Don's inability to converse coherently in English. Do these folks not do their homework? Dawsey didn't even bother to explain to readers the implications of Don's August 15, 2016 national security paper, something he absolutely had to do right at the beginning of his piece.